"That's not a belief. It's a fact."

What if it doesn't mean anything?

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching Ted Lasso when a quote from Marcus Aurelius came across the screen:

“Reject the sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”

I paused it.

Because I agree.

But I'd take it even further.

What if the injury never existed outside of the story you created about what happened?

Something happens.

Then, almost instantaneously, we compare what happened to what we believe should have happened.

And that's where it gets interesting.

Because we usually don't know it's a belief.

We think it's a fact.

Your business should be growing.

More money is better than less money.

Your body should be healthy.

Your child should be okay.

Someone who loves you shouldn't leave.

Success is better than failure.

Being wanted is better than being rejected.

Those sound like facts.

They're not.

They're beliefs.

And every belief contains a judgment about how something is, isn't, should be, shouldn't be, could be or couldn't be.

So when what we're experiencing matches the belief?

Good.

When it doesn't?

Bad.

And suddenly, something that simply is has an entire story attached to it.

Meaning.

Significance.

Consequences.

Past.

Future.

What it says about you.

What it means about your life.

What needs to happen next.

That's the injury.

Not the thing itself.

The story we've created about the thing.

And we do this all day long.

Someone doesn't text.

Meaning.

Money comes in. Money goes out.

Meaning.

Business is up. Business is down.

Meaning.

Your kid does something you love. Or something that makes you wonder whether perhaps boarding school in Switzerland is still accepting applications.

Meaning. 😂

Your body changes.

Someone has an opinion about you.

Something you desperately wanted happens.

Something you desperately didn't want happens.

And before the thing has even finished happening, we've already decided what it means.

About our life.

About our future.

About ourselves.

But here's the thing I've become fascinated by:

What if none of it actually means anything?

Not nothing matters.

Not stop caring.

Not sell your belongings, renounce all earthly pleasures and become mysteriously serene in white linen.

Please.

I like beautiful things far too much for that. 😂

I mean something much more literal.

What if the things happening in your life don't inherently contain any of the meaning you've assigned to them?

$10 million isn't inherently more significant than $10.

A growing business isn't inherently better than a shrinking one.

Being healthy isn't inherently better than being sick.

Being wanted isn't inherently better than being rejected.

Success isn't inherently better than failure.

I know.

Your brain probably has objections to at least three of those already.

Good. 😂

Because those objections are exactly what I'm interested in.

They're the places where a belief has become so unquestioned that it no longer looks like a belief.

It looks like reality.

And this is where my work has gone.

Most of you originally found me because of one particular person.

And when that person came closer, pulled away, called, didn't call, showed up, disappeared, said something or didn't say something, every movement could feel enormous.

Because it meant something.

Or at least, we believed it did.

But the person was never the only place we did this.

We do it with money.

Business.

Success.

Our bodies.

Our children.

Our families.

Health.

Other people's opinions.

Things we want.

Things we're terrified of losing.

Different subject. Same incredible human ability to look at something we're experiencing and decide what it means.

And THAT is where my work has gone.

Much deeper than one person.

I've come to see that so much of what we call reality is actually belief we've accepted so completely that we no longer recognize it as belief.

We call it fact.

And then we spend an extraordinary amount of our lives trying to change, fix, heal, improve, prevent, acquire or get rid of whatever we've decided shouldn't be exactly as it is.

Which is especially interesting when you're someone who's already done a LOT of that work.

Therapy.

Coaching.

Healing.

Personal development.

Spirituality.

Books.

Retreats.

Maybe a healer or two.

Maybe a shaman.

Maybe enough self-awareness to explain your childhood in three competing psychological frameworks before lunch. 😂

And still...

There's something.

Something in the physical world that can change and suddenly seem to change you.

A number.

A person.

A result.

A body.

A business.

A conversation.

A possibility.

Something you want.

Something you don't want.

Something that still seems to have the authority to decide how you get to experience yourself today.

That's the territory I'm interested in now.

And it's the work I call Champagne Alchemy™.

Yes, Champagne.

And no, I haven't abandoned spiritual work to open a vineyard. 😂

I chose Champagne because, to me, it represents the natural experience of who we actually are.

Effervescent.

Exuberant.

Alive.

Free.

Abundant.

Creative.

Powerful.

Not because something wonderful just happened.

Not because the number went up.

Not because someone chose us.

Not because the business grew.

Not because life finally behaved itself.

Because that's what we already are.

The alchemy is the transmutation of the fear-based energy that keeps convincing us otherwise.

That fear-based energy shows up as judgment.

Good.

Bad.

Better.

Worse.

More important.

Less important.

Should stay.

Needs to go.

And then it builds an entire story around that judgment and calls the story reality.

Here's the part that gets really interesting:

We don't transmute that energy so the thing we're judging will finally change.

Because then we're right back where we started.

We're still saying the changed version is better.

We're still judging.

We're just using spiritual work as a much prettier way to resist what's here.

That's why one of the things I say all the time now is:

Acceptance becomes another form of resistance when you're accepting something so it will finally change.

Oof.

I know. 😂

And this is what I want to explore with you here every Tuesday.

I'm calling these letters The Pour™.

Sometimes I'll tell you about something that happened in my own life.

Something I noticed.

Something I wanted.

Something I judged.

Something that pissed me off.

Something hilarious.

Something completely ordinary that suddenly showed me something extraordinary.

And then we'll pour it out and look at it together.

No seven-part lesson.

No homework.

No five steps to becoming a better human by Friday.

You've probably done enough becoming for one lifetime.

Just a little Champagne in your inbox every Tuesday. 🥂

And I want to start with you.

Hit reply and tell me:

What's one thing in your life right now that you're absolutely certain would be better if it were different?

Money?

Someone?

Your business?

Your body?

Your child?

Something you want?

Something you want to stop happening?

Don't try to give me the enlightened answer.

Give me the real one.

The one where you're thinking:

Elle, come on. This one actually IS a problem.

Those are my favorites. 😉

Just hit reply. I'll be reading.

So...how did you like your first Pour? 🥂

I'll see you right here next Tuesday for another one.

Cheers...

Elle 🥂

P.S. Tomorrow I'm going to invite you into something new I'm opening next week.

I'm calling it The Tasting Room™.

And I'm going to ask you to bring me one thing in your life you're absolutely certain is a problem.

Especially if you're already thinking, Elle, trust me. Mine actually is. 😂

More tomorrow. 🥂